My first girlfriend I met in the 4th grade
She liked Pokemon and I really thought that was great
But she decided to hold hands with a kid named Steve
And I just fuckin freaked out
So I broke up with her
I had to break up with her
My middle school girlfriend would not take a chance
I put my arms around her at the Halloween dance
But she got embarrassed and she started to squirm
So I opened up the dance floor and I did the worm
Then I broke up with her
I had to break up with her
My high school girlfriend was really artsy
And I was into that and her creativity
But she didn't take me seriously
And I was a horny, squirmy, little, lanky FUCK
So I had to mother fucking just break up with her
I had to break up with her
My college girlfriend played me like a fool
I met her in Boston, "How awesome?" it wasn't that cool
I thought she was the best, yeah, I thought she was mine
But we would
Yell & fight x5
So I broke up with her
Hey! x4
Clear my history it's full of steak & titties
I said, "Mom don't check my history you won't be happy!"
Then my Dad glanced at my history, he likes what he sees
But my Mom will be sad
Not Dad
Breaking up isn't that hard
Thank you
