[Verse 1: PuffPuff Humbert]
It was a weekend, and you can't stop
Us from going to the local dance spot
Instead of drinking imported beers
Somebody brought a bottle of Orphan Tears

We popped the top. We know what was in it
Yeah, we were all so stupid to sip it
Orphan Tears are so hallucinogenic
I took one sip and saw a two-headed midget. (Hey!)

Then the room filled with colors and shapes
And suddenly DeeJay was covered in snakes
Oh snap! And what made it worse
Was I swear I saw a unicorn humping a smurf

Then a rainbow appeared out of Wax's ass
He passed some gas and it snapped in half
Yo Deejay! Are you still there?
Yeah, I'm trying to hook up with this girl in a wheelchair

Alright. Chill there. I think a bulimic
Carebear might pick a fight with Jesus
I don't believe it. I'm gonna be sea sick
These Orphan Tears are about to make me trip

[Chorus: Puff Puff Humbert & DeeJay]
Little children, near and far
Don't know where your parents are
Cry directly in this jar
I will drink it at the bar
Sip-sippin' on Orphan Tears
Sip-sip-sippin' on Orphan Tears
Sip-sippin' on, sip-sip-sippin' on
Every, every sippin' on Orphan Tears

[Verse 2: DeeJay & Puff Puff Humbert]
Uh
Huah
These Orphan Tears got me feeling like I ain't felt before
I tried to bust-a-move but fell asleep on the dance floor. (Hey dude, get up!)
I swear I saw Bill Cosby like, "Hello with the pudding!"
He was dancing in his underwear showing off his woody

I ran to the bathroom. Everything's in slow-mo
I couldn't throw up, because the toilet bowl called me a homo. (Homo!)
I barfed up a kitten, and I'm feeling strange
Sippin' these Orphan Tears, now it's got me seeing things

[Chorus: Puff Puff Humbert & DeeJay]
Little children, near and far
Don't know where your parents are
Cry directly in this jar
I will drink it at the bar
Sip-sippin' on Orphan Tears
Sip-sip-sippin' on Orphan Tears
Sip-sippin' on, sip-sip-sippin' on
Every, every sippin' on Orphan Tears

[Verse 3: Wax]
All up in the VIP section, straight relaxed
The DJ playing my favorite tracks
Waitress asks, "What can I bring you?"
I said, "The most expensive thing on the menu."

She came back with a glass of liquid
I said, "I asked for something different."
This looks like a normal beer
She said, "Naw it's Orphan Tears."

Took a swig, then I walked down where the dance floor is
Whole club looking like a forest
DJ turned into a brontosaurus
Everybody in the club looked like Chuck Norris

I tried to run to the bathroom but when
I did I felt a vacuum suction
Pulling me back slow
Dance floor turned into a black hole

Spinnin' 'round horribly
Feelin' like Dorothy
Woke up and was still at home
Orphan Tears got us in the zone

[Chorus: Puff Puff Humbert & DeeJay] (2×)
Little children, near and far
Don't know where your parents are
Cry directly in this jar
I will drink it at the bar
Sip-sippin' on Orphan Tears
Sip-sip-sippin' on Orphan Tears
Sip-sippin' on, sip-sip-sippin' on
Every, every, sippin' on Orphan Tears

[Outro]
Hello, with the pudding
Pud-pud-pud-pud-pudding
He-he-hello with pudding, pudding (Bill Cosby)
Pudding (Bill Cosby) (4×)